Don’t leave it up to fate to write your destiny because fate is a terrible writer. A meaningful life doesn’t happen by accident. According to Jordan Peterson, the antidote to suffering is quite simple, “You must create a meaningful life.” Notice this statement requires ACTION. How could I expect to get what I wanted if I could not articulate what that EVEN looked like? My identity had been rocked, and I had to rebuild. I felt rudderless, aimless, like a rolling tumbleweed. If you want to hear my story, listen to my podcast episode, “A Life of Incongruence.” I wrestled with questions, like “Were those years of marriage meaningless?” which tapped into deeper questions like, “Who am I? What do I stand for and what is my purpose?” I had a true identity crisis, and I was suffering. Before divorce, I was living an incongruent life, and the abrupt record scratch in life whipped me into shape. I can honestly say, divorce made me better. It was a process, and I had to actively seek to heal, grow and learn the lesson. What if you let go of these ideas that you have been holding onto? What benefits might you receive from letting go? My applecart was dramatically overturned, “Telemundo” style, but I became a better person as a result. What do you need to let go of? Did you know that your brain will answer any question you ask yourself? Go ahead ask yourself, what do I need to let go of? Is it letting go of the idea that life didn’t turn out as you expected? Or maybe you’re wrestling with no longer identifying as the person you were before the unwanted event occurred.
You have to let go at some point in order to move forward” (C.S. You may be thinking, I already lost my marriage, what else do I have to give up? Or I lost my job, now what? “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. It doesn’t feel secure, but you must leave something behind to pick up something new. We work in patterns, and a life transition like divorce or job loss is a break in our pattern. With change comes the fear of losing more. Right about the time when we see things aren’t working, we hesitantly admit something has to change. We resist change, we dig our heels in, and we don’t want to budge. It’s the unpleasant wake-up call that can make you a better person if you’re willing to redirect your life, but it’s the “redirecting” of life that is the challenge. Sometimes an “unthinkable” event is a needed intervention.